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Oats
The Has-been that Never-was ''"My feelers are hurt." ''-Oats- ''"Nobody cares." ''-Literally everyone else- Description This disgusting excuse of a human being once led a somewhat successful Mumble that was the former home of [[Sir]] and [[Torres]] as well as a few other regulars in the Mumble today. He is a connoisseur of tasteful videogame porn from works such as Doom, Quake and Warframe, for which he has a number of degenerate weaboo-esque fetishes. In addition to this, he is also a frequent wearer of fedoras. Personality-wise he can be described as lazy and unmotivated, evidenced by his constant stream of social media updates claiming to have new videos in the works that never seems to materialize. On top of this his ego, while seemingly small and humble, is in reality inflated to astronomical levels and is easily bruised by the smallest perceived slight against him. He desires both control and admiration from everyone but has neither the power nor the intelligence to possess both. Additionally, he is an unabashed womanizer and has been known to be so mindbogglingly thirsty for female attention that all women that have come into contact with him have been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual advances, unsolicited pornographic images, or both. These personality and psychological faults were the cause of one of the greatest falling-outs and subsequent feuds that the Mumbleverse has ever seen; an event known as [[The Cuckening]]. When asked for an honest opinion of Oats, an unnamed source close to him gave what is quite possibly the most accurate and savagely honest verbal takedown ever bestowed onto another human being. While some have called for the speaker to be arrested and tried at The Hague for crimes against humanity, all that have known Oats have unanimously agreed upon its truth and validity. Apparent Obsession with John Cena Due to his over-utilization of the word "Champ" when referring to others, it can only be assumed that he has a deep-seated and highly secretive feeling of love and admiration for WWE superstar John Cena. Speculation from PingerCo analysts indicates that Oats has multiple full-sized body pillows of the professional wrestler that he cuddles, spoons, and sleeps with on a regular basis. When asked for comment about his #1 fan, John Cena stated: ''"I mean, I admire the dedication to my craft and the legacy I am trying to leave on this world that this individual has, but how can I possibly respect a dude that doesn't even lift? Like if he's such a suh guy, where are the gains? Where are the gains, bruh?"'' Activities in the Mumble Fortunately this soul-crushingly pitiful man doesn't frequent the Mumble very often. He spends most of his time in his own Mumble that is funded entirely by a friend because Oats didn't have the wherewithal to graduate university and make all that sweet, sweet money that only degree-holders can. That being said, his degree was to be in some retarded-ass shit like "game-design" or something similar which, upon graduation and receiving his diploma from Cuck University, would've landed him directly in the unemployment line anyway. When he isn't defiling the Mumble with his presence, he can usually be found playing CS:GO, APB Reloaded, Warframe, or swindling his friends into buying games that he will never play with them. But even after all this: "Oats is still a fun guy to play games with. And although many of his shitty habits preceded him he is still fun to chill with and game if a girl doesn't enter the mix. BECAUSE THEN SHIT GETS FUCKY." -Pingas- Evidence of Oats' Degenerate Porn Habits (NSFW) Evidence of Oats' updates of stuff that never happened